One of those no-neck monsters hit me with a hot buttered biscuit so I have to change! Well, I! – just
remarked that! – one of th' no-neck monsters messed up my lovely lace dress so I got to
cha-a-ange!I swear they've got no necks.None visible.Their fat little heads are stuck on their
fat little bodies without a bit of connection.An' it's too bad,'cause you can't wring their necks if
they've got no necks to wring!Yep, they're monsters, all right.All no-neck people are monsters.
Hear them?Hear them screaming?I don't know where their voice boxes are located since they
don't have necks.I tell you I got so nervous at that table tonight I thought I would throw back my
head and utter a scream you could hear clear across the Arkansas border and parts of Louisiana
and Tennessee.I said to your charming sister-in-law, "Mae, honey couldn't you feed those
precious little thing at a separate table?They make such a mess and the lace cloth looks soooo
pretty…"She made enormous eyes at me and said, " Ohhhhhh, no! On Big Daddy's birthday?
Why, he would never forgive me!"Well, I want you to know, Big Daddy hadn't been at that table
two minutes with them no-neck monsters slobbering an' drooling over their food before he threw
down his fork and shouted' " Fo' God's sake, Gooper!Why don't you feed them pigs at a trough in
the kitchen?!"Well, I swear, I simply could have dii-ie-ed! -Big Daddy shares my attitude towards
Brother man and that monster of fertility Mae!As for me, well – I give him a laugh now and then
and he tolerates me.In fact, – I sometimes suspect that Big Daddy harbors a little unconscious
lech for me.Way he always drops his eyes down my body when I'm talking to him, drops his eyes
to my boobs an' licks his old chops!Ha ha!- Why are …